Remember that song we learned years ago at Vacation Bible School? The words have come back to my mind several times over the past couple months:
“He’s still workin’ on me
To make me what I ought to be.
It took Him just a week to make the moon and the stars,
The sun and the earth,
And Jupiter and Mars.
How loving and patient He must be
‘Cause He’s still workin’ on me.”
These days I find myself at a juncture, one in which I’ve been given instructions but can’t for the life of me see how I’m going to follow them and realize the goal. So begins, I suppose, another lesson in faith. Or patience, perhaps. Whatever God wants to show me, I’m willing to learn; I just wish He’d hurry.
I’m enrolled to enter Gordon-Conwell Theological Seminary in the spring of 2012. Up to this point I’ve been pretty excited and upbeat about these new waters He’s set me in, but frankly I’m feeling intimidated and anxious about the whole process now as if I’m splashing around and flailing my arms in the air. Maybe Peter felt this way when Christ bid him step from the boat onto the sea. I wonder if there came a point, as he crossed the waves that night, when the reality of what he was doing actually set in.
Once outside the safety of the boat, maybe he realized he was physically more than a hop, skip and a jump from where Jesus stood. Maybe he wondered for an instant whether he’d misunderstood Jesus’ directions. And maybe, in that moment, Peter’s faith flickered like a flame against a puff of wind. Maybe, to Peter, that puff of wind felt as tornadic as mine does to me.
Regardless of what led to his panic, the fact is that Christ was beside him to buoy the disciple up – the one who’d just recently denied even knowing Him – before Peter even finished his cry for help. And the other fact is that Christ does the same for any of us who cry to Him when we feel overwhelmed…wherever we are, wherever we’ve been. Whatever we’ve done.
I have absolutely no idea how He’ll work out my situation. I do know He’s aware and has a plan, but when I run the numbers and look at the task ahead of us the numbers just don’t fit. And yet the prophet Isaiah says that “[God’s] ways are higher than my ways,” so at this point I have little choice but to trust.
Please stand with me in prayer that I don’t blow it. God is, after all, still workin’ on me.